Tranquila, tú estás en España.

This past weekend I was in Barcelona, and for whatever reasons, spent the majority of it in bed. And the whole time I was in my bed all I could think was that I was in my bed and i´m in Barcelona, this is wrong. Nevertheless I could not get myself to remove my body from it and place it into a pair of shoes that would take me out the door. Mind you I didn´t spend the whole weekend there. I did manage to get out with some of my friends to a wonderfully atmosphered jazz club on Friday and on Saturday I spent Valentine´s with 3 ladies at a Mexican restaurant and one strong round of drinks. Sunday however, I did not leave.

Thus by the time Monday morning rolled around I think I had had enough of my own reclusive and inexplicable depressed attitutde that I decided to teach myself a lesson, and enjoy myself. I could not tell you why or what exactly invoked a change in me but I felt pretty pleasant and careless. During my classes I was shocked at the amount of attention and care I had in my classes. During my break during the day I sat in a big squashy armchair in a café next to the huge picture window and just sank in to the rhythmic motions of people passing by me on the other side of the glass. If I was a person on display in the big window neither party noticed much, and I contentedly sat and read about French citizenship laws all morning pausing to reflect on notions pertaining to my academics and future interests. I really truly enjoy all of my classes here and I cant say why. Some of the material I have already covered before even but now here in Spain I have this renewed interest in it. Maybe it is the fact that I am living in a place where the implementation of the things I learn is actually present. Just last week they arrested 10 men in Barcelona suspected of al-queda connections (don´t worry, there was no evidence of plans in the works). Then there are the radicals in the Basque region just to the west of here in the group ETA, that are active with their terrorist actions right now. These things that I have learned about from my safe classroom in America are real and present here, yet people still live their daily lives without constant fear. And even with that notion, im in Western Europe, it is by no means a dangerous and unstable area. Yet it is still s different from the U.S.

Yesterday I decided for the first time to walk home from school. I looked at a map before I departed and realized that it is just about a straight shot from school to home. From start to finish i´d imagine it should take about 50 minutes or an hour but I was dilly dallying so it took me a lot longer. The walk was pleasant, and it encompasses a trot through the fashion district with stores like Burberry and Gucci and turns into a much smaller street which I have deemed my favorite street in Barcelona to date. It is a typical street in La Gracía, the burough if you will, in which I live in and it is a very family oriented neighborhood with lots of young people. The street has tons of little stores and cheap cafes, which isnt out of the ordinary for Barcelona, so i´m not really entirely sure what made me love it so much. Maybe the combination of the narrow street, the sun, and some trees that actually had leaves on them, and perhaps that added dash of exploration and discovery put me in a good mood for the duration of my stroll. I ended my journey with a quick stop at the Farmacía to buy some more toothpaste since my little travel size finally ran out. I was pleasantly surprised when after a quick conversation about my bad habit of not spending my change yet always accumulating it led, the cashier to offer to change it all into bills for me. It was an interesting juxtaposition to the other day when I misunderstood the cashier at my local grocery 3 times, and she ultimately frustratedly thurst my change and receipt into my hand before I shamedly walked out the door. But yes for whatever reasons this week the sun was shining on my back and I was very pleased.

I hope that these feelings are an indication of the fact that i´m finally letting go and just accepting that my days will be jarred with moments of uncertainty. that I will probably spend a lot more time with my own self and mind in this semester than with other people in the grander sense. that it is a good idea to strike up conversation with whomever even if neither of you can understand each other very well. and that this semester can be full of surprises if I let them surprise me. More or less I realized that I need to stop trying so hard to make things happen and let them happen to me. The favorite word among the people here is Tranquilo...and people use it to say Don´t worry, and I believe it has become my favorite word too!

I ought to write in here more, sorry everybody! Which reminds me of one more little thing. Being here in Spain has ingratied in me a sense of wonder and yearning for travel and discovery more than I thought was ever possible. There is so much I want to see. But at the same exact time it has really made me appreciate everything that I have at home with me in Syracuse and in Rochester. I miss everyone at home and I think have only come to appreciate my relationships with the people there more. So mom, stop worrying so much, I promise i´ll come home to you, at least for a little while...